The Perpetual Hunger Games: Why You Never Feel 'Enough' (And It's Not Your Fault)

When self-doubt is a byproduct of oppressive ideology, solidarity and self-compassion become radical acts of rebellion.

Delivering the keynote to thousands attending the International Society for Autism Research conference, I thought, "If they only knew." Knew what? That despite being a world leader in autism research, a voice whispered, "You're not enough." From general contracting to shaping national policy, this doubt has haunted every stage of my career. But it's not just me. We're all caught in the Perpetual Hunger Games fostered by the ideology of meritocracy.

What is Meritocracy Ideology?

Coined in 1958 by Michael Young as dystopian satire, "meritocracy" ironically became championed as a supposedly accurate description of how rewards and recognition of deservedness are allocated in society. That success is based solely on individual effort and talent in an arena where anyone can potentially succeed and the measures of success are objective and non-preferential.

This seductive idea suggests a level playing field where anyone can make it if they just work hard enough. However, the reality is starkly different. Meritocracy often serves as a convenient justification for perpetuating systemic inequalities, placing the burden of success—and the blame for failure—squarely on individual shoulders, while obscuring the very real structural barriers that exist.

Three Ways Meritocracy Undermines Wellbeing

1. Internalizing Failure

Meet Pat, a brilliant epidemiologist who just landed their dream job at a top university. Instead of celebrating, they're losing sleep. "I should be thrilled," Pat confides, "but I'm already anxious about my first grant proposal, wondering if my teaching evaluations will measure up, and worrying about publishing enough for tenure." Despite being the leading expert in their field, Pat's inner voice is bracing for the shame of failure rather than identifying and advocating for the supportive structural resources that would enable them to thrive and operate at peak productivity.

This is meritocracy in action. By suggesting that success is purely a result of individual merit, it transforms every setback into a personal failing. The system can't be questioned as flawed; therefore, you must be. The reality? Success depends on a complex interplay of factors beyond individual control. Institutional support, social networks, and systemic advantages or disadvantages play crucial roles. It's as if some runners in a race carry invisible weights - the cumulative burden of systemic disadvantages acting like a 50-pound backpack - while others run unencumbered, yet all are judged as if the race were fair.

2. Perpetual Striving and Moving Goalposts

The meritocracy myth affects organizations and entire sectors as well as individuals. In academia, the relentless "rankings chase" exemplifies meritocracy at an institutional level. Universities scramble to climb arbitrary metrics that routinely shift, mirroring how individuals are told their worth is determined solely by “objective” measurable goals.

This creates a perpetual treadmill: improve publication rates, then boost grant numbers, then increase selectivity. The goalposts always move, fostering a culture of burnout rather than genuine learning and improvement that matters to anyone outside of academia. This is one of many factors that drives the perception academia's objectives are wildly out of touch with pragmatic societal concerns.

The promise of meritocracy suggests this competition improves overall quality. The reality? It often exacerbates pre-existing inequalities, as well-resourced institutions more easily game the system. It's a stark reminder that meritocracy, whether for individuals or institutions, often reinforces existing hierarchies rather than promoting true equity.

3. Isolation and Competition

Maria, a mid-career academic administrator, had always believed hard work guaranteed success. After being passed over for promotion despite consistently exceeding targets, she felt like a failure. One day, sharing her frustration with a colleague, she was surprised to hear similar stories. "It's not just me?" she wondered.

Meritocracy fosters isolation by framing success as a zero-sum game. If someone else succeeds, it must mean less opportunity for you. This discourages solidarity and keeps us trapped in individual struggles. The reality? Collaboration and mutual support often lead to better outcomes for everyone involved.

The Systemic Nature of the Problem

While meritocracy ideology puts the onus on individuals, it obscures very real structural barriers and systemic inequalities. It's no wonder burnout is rampant. According to SHRM's 2024 Employee Mental Health Research Series, 44% of U.S. employees feel burned out at work, with 51% feeling "used up" at the end of the workday. These statistics expose the harsh reality behind meritocracy's façade of fairness. What's sold as a system rewarding hard work and talent instead often leaves people exhausted and demoralized, shouldering blame for circumstances largely beyond their control.

Breaking the Myth: Towards Solidarity and Self-Compassion

Recognizing meritocracy as a myth can be profoundly liberating. It shifts our perspective from individual shame to collective understanding and provides a stronger foundation for action. Maria and her colleague started a monthly "career real-talk" meetup, creating a space where colleagues could share their struggles and support each other, challenging the isolating effects of the meritocracy myth and identifying ways to set boundaries and request the supports they need to succeed.

By unmasking the myth, we can build solidarity with others facing similar struggles. While the allure of meritocracy is its promise of fairness, the reality often falls short. However, by critically examining this ideology, we open the door to more equitable and compassionate alternatives.

What's Next?

This glimpse into the Perpetual Hunger Games of meritocracy is just the beginning. In my upcoming deep-dive post, we'll further explore the stark contrasts between meritocracy's promises and realities, examining how this myth shapes everything from societal scapegoating and political divisions to workplace culture, and propose alternatives that foster genuine well-being and social progress.

Remember, you're not alone in this game. We're all learning to measure our worth by standards rooted in values and purpose, not by a flawed ideology's rulebook. So the next time that voice whispers "not enough," pause. Ask yourself, "Whose standards am I measuring against?" Then, share that moment with a friend. In naming the game out loud, we begin to change it.

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My full essay on The Meritocracy Mirage: Unmasking the Harmful Myth That Shapes Our World will be coming out soon. We'll take a deeper dive into the various ways this ideology fosters division, scapegoating, shame and disempowerment as well as strategies for resistance.