What if staying human is one of the most powerful and most unappreciated forms of resistance? Shaping tomorrow and defeating tyranny takes more than big protest events and macro strategies.
Another resource on befriending yourself is Susan Piver’s article “GETTING STUFF DONE BY NOT BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF”.
“I’ve spent a lot of time in my life trying to force myself to do things. Really good things. Things that are important to me. Things like meditating, journaling, going to the gym, and so on. I set schedules over and over. (I will rise at 5. Meditate, 530-630. Journal 630-730. Breakfast 8-9, and so on.) I fail way more than I succeed, which makes me really, really upset. I get angrier and angrier at myself, curse my lack of discipline, shame myself for watching Battlestar Galactica (again) instead of writing, delve into my psychology hoping to unearth the seeds of self-sabotage. It spirals out of control until I either give in to lying on the couch or somehow manage to squeeze out a day of discipline according to schedule, whereupon I exhale a half-sigh of relief and immediately begin bullying myself to repeat this tomorrow.
I would add: something in the garden or with the earth. Take your shoes off and walk through the park barefoot on your lunch break. Go for a walk with the intention of picking up rubbish. Take you time.
Go lie down in your back yard with your ear buds and listen to your favourite tunes with your whole body connected to the earth 🩷🌀
Find someone in your community whose life has been turned upside down by Trump/Doge and do what you can for them—help them find resources, make connections for employment, just listen to them.
That's a powerful action. My friend, a civilian working in the military, has been so worried. Just listening to her and validating her fears was an important moment. She wasn't really able to talk with anyone else (civilian) in this red state, and she kept saying, "You don't believe me, do you?" I assured her I did, and simply knowing that she's not alone has been healing in a way for her. It heals me, too, each time she thanks me for that conversation.
Beautiful. The worst that authoritarian governments do is cow and immobilize the masses. Remaining human, and trying to be a good one, will be harder and more important than most people realize. Winning the battle doesn't mean anything good if we lose who we are in the process.
I can tell that I live in Vermont because I read the first part, with the words “cow and immobilize” as “[big farm animal that provides milk] and immobilize” and it took me more than a couple of beats to realize my mistake. Lol. 😅 I consider it a good sign that my mind still goes to lovely Vermont cows before anything else.
I just wrapped up a six-week political anxiety group therapy group & we were talking about self-care. This ties in nicely and the fact that it showed up on my feed is quite serendipitous.
The fact that we have to have these groups now is mind boggling in itself. And also, yay for us all for recognizing what is happening and not just pretending we are okay.
My small act of self-regard and care today: resisting the internal imperative to say something meaningful here. I just want to say thanks for verbalizing, consolidating and offering a space, resources, and suggestions as we find ourselves beyond the precipice. Handholds, manageable actions and others are keeping me from plunging. Glad to be here.
81. Ask someone for help mending or borrowing something
82. Ground yourself in an ancient story, song, or ritual to gain perspective
83. Thank someone else for their mundane work
84. Spend time with children, letting them take the lead
85. Write down one big dream for the world and one tiny moment/space where you can make it come true
Thank you so much for this post, Paul! I'm glad I found you and it's given me such inspiration today! I write a Substack about spirituality and social justice at human scale. I can't wait to share your work with my readers.
I feel like I’m living in jello- this surreal experience of my personal life being filled with love and grace; and beyond my comfort bubble this nation being raped, pillaged destroyed in its values, moral compass and thresholds of democracy. I see this virtual neofascist movement alive and thriving and I can’t help but wonder about the viability of America’s future! In a war of no due process, censorship, eclipsing of social welfare agencies, rampant racism from the top down, extreme Christian Nationalism, alienation from other countries, suppression of education, health care, free speech… and on and on! F bombs fly from my lips like honey bees to a hive that somehow in the moment create a tiny window of validation to what I am witnessing. Thank you for your support through your writing! 🙏🏽❣️
It's helpful to remember that history is circular, not linear. Even as things fall apart, the re-builders of our nation are watching and growing up. Cue the book, The Fourth Turning, and it's study of cycles in history. We're at the worst part, just before conflict and resolution. The article above emphasizes qualities important to our nation and people if we hope to rebuild it well.
Thanks for the mention of The Fourth Turning. I’ve had a sense of the cyclicity of human history but was not aware of detailed discussion of the patterns other than The Upswing by Robert Putnam. Fascinating & very enlightening!
It helped me to learn the political philosophy behind the destruction & chaos. It is not "Nazi" or "fascist" - it is a 21st century technocratic vision. Once I could name it, it felt scary in a different way, manageable somehow at least in my mind. I also like the comment about Kundera's Unbearable Lightness, because the Czechs endured totalitarianism creatively.
Thank you so much for creating this list! The items are all so powerful, meaningful, and important and will undoubtedly make a positive and impactful difference for each who read it!! 🩵💐
I didn’t know how much I needed this until I was halfway through, nodding, tearing up, and breathing a little deeper.
As a neurodivergent, queer parent navigating a lot of transition, I’ve been craving small, doable ways to stay tethered to myself. This list is grounding, gentle, and full of real-life soulfulness. Thank you for offering it with such care.
Another resource on befriending yourself is Susan Piver’s article “GETTING STUFF DONE BY NOT BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF”.
“I’ve spent a lot of time in my life trying to force myself to do things. Really good things. Things that are important to me. Things like meditating, journaling, going to the gym, and so on. I set schedules over and over. (I will rise at 5. Meditate, 530-630. Journal 630-730. Breakfast 8-9, and so on.) I fail way more than I succeed, which makes me really, really upset. I get angrier and angrier at myself, curse my lack of discipline, shame myself for watching Battlestar Galactica (again) instead of writing, delve into my psychology hoping to unearth the seeds of self-sabotage. It spirals out of control until I either give in to lying on the couch or somehow manage to squeeze out a day of discipline according to schedule, whereupon I exhale a half-sigh of relief and immediately begin bullying myself to repeat this tomorrow.
IT SUCKS….”
https://openheartproject.com/getting-stuff-done-by-not-being-mean-to-yourself/
"shame myself for watching Battlestar Galactica (again)"
✨️☺️✨️
"shame myself for watching Battlestar Galactica (again)"
✨️☺️✨️
"shame myself for watching Battlestar Galactica (again)"
✨️☺️✨️
I would add: something in the garden or with the earth. Take your shoes off and walk through the park barefoot on your lunch break. Go for a walk with the intention of picking up rubbish. Take you time.
Go lie down in your back yard with your ear buds and listen to your favourite tunes with your whole body connected to the earth 🩷🌀
Love these tiny moves! One of mine is reading an old journal entry to remind me that I’ve made more than one tiny move forward.
As an avid reader I love #42. I recently reread The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera with an entirely new perspective.
Find someone in your community whose life has been turned upside down by Trump/Doge and do what you can for them—help them find resources, make connections for employment, just listen to them.
That's a powerful action. My friend, a civilian working in the military, has been so worried. Just listening to her and validating her fears was an important moment. She wasn't really able to talk with anyone else (civilian) in this red state, and she kept saying, "You don't believe me, do you?" I assured her I did, and simply knowing that she's not alone has been healing in a way for her. It heals me, too, each time she thanks me for that conversation.
Beautiful. The worst that authoritarian governments do is cow and immobilize the masses. Remaining human, and trying to be a good one, will be harder and more important than most people realize. Winning the battle doesn't mean anything good if we lose who we are in the process.
I can tell that I live in Vermont because I read the first part, with the words “cow and immobilize” as “[big farm animal that provides milk] and immobilize” and it took me more than a couple of beats to realize my mistake. Lol. 😅 I consider it a good sign that my mind still goes to lovely Vermont cows before anything else.
I just wrapped up a six-week political anxiety group therapy group & we were talking about self-care. This ties in nicely and the fact that it showed up on my feed is quite serendipitous.
The fact that we have to have these groups now is mind boggling in itself. And also, yay for us all for recognizing what is happening and not just pretending we are okay.
Thank you! I think that I need this❤️🩹
My small act of self-regard and care today: resisting the internal imperative to say something meaningful here. I just want to say thanks for verbalizing, consolidating and offering a space, resources, and suggestions as we find ourselves beyond the precipice. Handholds, manageable actions and others are keeping me from plunging. Glad to be here.
I think you did say something meaningful -- thank you!
Thank you for this, Sara. It means so much...and you reaching out.
81. Ask someone for help mending or borrowing something
82. Ground yourself in an ancient story, song, or ritual to gain perspective
83. Thank someone else for their mundane work
84. Spend time with children, letting them take the lead
85. Write down one big dream for the world and one tiny moment/space where you can make it come true
Thank you so much for this post, Paul! I'm glad I found you and it's given me such inspiration today! I write a Substack about spirituality and social justice at human scale. I can't wait to share your work with my readers.
I just subscribed to your blog. Looking forward to getting to know your work better. Also sent you a direct message 🙏🏻☮️
I feel like I’m living in jello- this surreal experience of my personal life being filled with love and grace; and beyond my comfort bubble this nation being raped, pillaged destroyed in its values, moral compass and thresholds of democracy. I see this virtual neofascist movement alive and thriving and I can’t help but wonder about the viability of America’s future! In a war of no due process, censorship, eclipsing of social welfare agencies, rampant racism from the top down, extreme Christian Nationalism, alienation from other countries, suppression of education, health care, free speech… and on and on! F bombs fly from my lips like honey bees to a hive that somehow in the moment create a tiny window of validation to what I am witnessing. Thank you for your support through your writing! 🙏🏽❣️
It's helpful to remember that history is circular, not linear. Even as things fall apart, the re-builders of our nation are watching and growing up. Cue the book, The Fourth Turning, and it's study of cycles in history. We're at the worst part, just before conflict and resolution. The article above emphasizes qualities important to our nation and people if we hope to rebuild it well.
Thanks for the mention of The Fourth Turning. I’ve had a sense of the cyclicity of human history but was not aware of detailed discussion of the patterns other than The Upswing by Robert Putnam. Fascinating & very enlightening!
It helped me to learn the political philosophy behind the destruction & chaos. It is not "Nazi" or "fascist" - it is a 21st century technocratic vision. Once I could name it, it felt scary in a different way, manageable somehow at least in my mind. I also like the comment about Kundera's Unbearable Lightness, because the Czechs endured totalitarianism creatively.
Couldn’t do it all. Still here
Thank you so much for creating this list! The items are all so powerful, meaningful, and important and will undoubtedly make a positive and impactful difference for each who read it!! 🩵💐
Thanks for the Words over Swords shout out, Paul. These tiny moves are great. I find I'm already doing a number of them!
I didn’t know how much I needed this until I was halfway through, nodding, tearing up, and breathing a little deeper.
As a neurodivergent, queer parent navigating a lot of transition, I’ve been craving small, doable ways to stay tethered to myself. This list is grounding, gentle, and full of real-life soulfulness. Thank you for offering it with such care.
I’m so grateful you found it useful. 🙏🏻☮️ 🏳️🌈❤️🩹